Cj Mahn

My Nipples Hurt Too Cj Mahn

Congratulations! You successfully penetrated her and are now expecting a child. If only you had any inclination of what the hell you got yourself into. Amid the excitement and hope for tomorrow, you're probably having panic attacks and questioning a lot of decisions made. Don't worry, centuries of men understand the fear, doubt, and outright regret you might be feeling at the moment. But how do you prepare for something you constantly avoid thinking about?My Nipples Hurt Too takes an unvarnished approach to relay the ridiculousness of pregnancy in its truly horrible yet humorous light. From the moment my wife and I made the fateful decision to conceive a child, the ensuing rollercoaster proved humans are nothing more than biology experiments wearing pants. Whether it be my wife suffering from severe pregnancy brain, me getting fat with sympathy weight, her water breaking on my arms, or the nightmares that still haunt me from the delivery room, this story provides a refreshing perspective that's an alternative to the nostalgic glow, mostly lies, promised by grandparents. How many men have ever heard of a mucus plug? Correction, how many men would ever want to know what one is? By reading this, they will unfortunately know every nuance of what's about to happen. It's not possible to sugarcoat these events, and the comedy behind my true story and anecdotes will be simultaneously terrifying and probably a little cathartic.